L is for Labeling – We Act as We Are Treated

It is normal for us to use labels to create categories of things.  This is a shortcut to gaining an understanding of the vast amount of information we come into contact with.  Yet we also have a habit of labeling each other as well as the children entrusted into our care.  The problem is that when we have a label we stop seeking information that might go counter to the it and when have labeled something, or someone, we feel empowered to take action.

This does not have to be a problem and in fact, it is helpful when we are talking about some sort of diagnoses.  When we have determined that a certain diagnoses is warranted, that provides implications for curing or managing the condition.  We know that when someone has a Strep Throat certain antibiotics should be given to treat the infection.

Yet when we use labels for each other, more often than not these are negative judgement calls.  Once a label is assigned it often sticks with the person a long time, sometimes for life.  When the label is passed from person to person and setting to setting this can be extremely damaging. A prime example is teachers passing labels such as ADHD, hyperactive or even calling a child a “behavior problem,” a label that suggests this describes everything about the child and there is nothing else to learn.  When labels are passed one to another we tend to see what we have been told to see rather than get to know the person and form our own judgements based solely on our own perceptions.

Unfortunately, when we label someone, especially a child, they will begin to live up to our expectations.  I am reminded of a classmate I had in nursery school, named J.J.  I don’t know how or when it came to be but everything negative that happened in the classroom was attributed to J.J.  Did he terrorize the other kids in the classroom?  Maybe.  But I can’t help but wonder how his behavior might had been different had he been referred to as a leader or good friend or sharer.  One thing is certain, call a child a “behavior problem” year after year and regardless of whether he’s one to begin with chances are he will certainly become one.  Why wouldn’t he?  If no matter what he does, he’s perceived that way, why not give people what they seem to want and expect?

Research has shown just how powerful this effect is.  Two groups of teachers were given descriptions of made up students.  The two descriptions were identical except for the final sentence.  The descriptions for one group ended with the statement that the child was diagnosed with ADHD.  They were then asked to rate the imaginary child on positive and negative characteristics such as friendliness, disruptiveness, polite, cruel etc.  The teachers who received the description with the ADHD statement, rated the child as far more negative that did those with the other description (Ohan, Visser, Strain & Allen, 2011).

At the same time, research has shown the positive side labeling.  Teachers’ positive expectations for student intelligence and achievement has been shown to predict life outcomes for decades afterwards.  Teacher judgments of student intelligence at age 12 has been found to predict adult intelligence and other major life outcomes Including educational attainment, socioeconomic status and physical and emotional health at age 52. These effects seem to be accounted for by Grade Point Average (GPA).  In particular, teacher’s positive expectations were associated with higher GPA and educational attainment which in turn predicted the other outcomes (Fischbach, Baudson, Preckel, Martin & Brunner, 2013).

This research and other like it teaches an important lesson.  When children are expected to do poorly and act out, they will learn to do so.  Likewise, when they are expected to excel and achieve they fulfill this prophecy as well.  Children will act in a manner consistent with the way in which we treat them. And they will continue to do so over time well into adulthood and possibly throughout their lifetime.  This shows the how critical it is for us to take into account how we treat each other.

When we believe the worst about someone based on hearing things about them instead of getting to know them personally our actions will communicate this.  Similarly, when we view someone based on unconditional positive regard that person will live up to those attributions, which can correct for negative early life experiences.  We have the power to influence others in a way that instills either positive or negative beliefs that the person may come to adopt, acting in such a way that the prophecy is fulfilled.  It is our responsibility to act in such a way so as to affect others positively and avoid creating negative impressions that are communicated both to the individual as well as to others.  Each of us has the capacity to help or hurt.  Which one will you choose?

References

 Fischbach, A., Baudson, T. G., Preckel, F., Martin, R., & Brunner, M. (2013). Do teacher judgments of student intelligence predict life outcomes? Learning and Individual Differences, 27, 109-119.

Ohan, J. L., Visser, T. A., Strain, M. C., & Allen, L. (2011). Teachers' and education students' perceptions of and reactions to children with and without the diagnostic label “ADHD”. Journal of School Psychology, 49(1), 81-105.

K is for Kibitzing – Remember to Put Some Social Interaction in Your Day

Almost everyone enjoys talking with others, sharing information, hardships and successes. It’s no wonder.  Humans are social beings. Sometimes though, with our increasingly busy schedules and day to day responsibilities we can get so caught up in what we have to do that days will go by without any social contact other than that involving basic necessities.  Yet social interaction and support are among the most important influences on our physical and emotional health and our ability to function adaptively in our day to day lives. This applies to those of all ages from childhood through older adults.   We are never too young or too old to benefit from social interaction.

Even if you have to schedule it in order to remember, make sure to take time for social conversation in your day.  A little kibitzing goes a long way.

Is Morality Dead?

So did you see anything in the mirror?  Did you look?  (See previous post).  As for me there were several things that came to mind not all of them necessarily complimentary or positive, including the necessity to make some decisions that have been a long time in coming and are well overdo. 

Last post I discussed the increasing belief that living a pleasing life and getting whatever we wanted had been transformed into a right and the growing number and kinds of justifications that allowed us to continue doing whatever it took to make this happen.  I also mentioned how we have learned to stretch of the “within reason” boundary to include what never would have been previously.  The more “modern” we become the better we get at compartmentalizing such that what was wrong yesterday just may be right today.

Yet as things always flow downhill, we couldn't stop rolling and gaining momentum until we shattered the boundary of a dual polarity categorization of morality - that of right and wrong.  This gave birth to the doing-allowing distinction.  The distinction here is between doing something bad ourselves and standing aside while allowing something bad to happen. 

The former, we decided is far worse than the latter.  Murdering someone is horrific, not preventing someone from being murdered - not actually so bad.  That made things far simpler.  Most of us can go about our lives doing what we need to do without murdering anyone.  Yet working towards preventing all those who are dying for lack of food or medical care around the world by joining Doctors Without Borders, well now we’ve just made things a whole lot more difficult.  But we had entered an era where it was considered perfectly fine to say, “I’d prefer to stick with door #1 please, Alex.”

There are those who are extremely socially adept, able to read exactly what another wants to hear, use an innate ability to act in a way that attracts attention.  They can cause others to become attached to them by gaining trust until they are automatically and instantly believed even when contradicting themselves.  Many such individuals are so desperate for the attention this behavior attracts that they are willing to create a hated other, causing the social network they are within to come to see the person based on whatever they were told. 

In terms of the doing-allowing distinction, for such individuals, it isn’t enough that they don’t use their skills to manipulate other, or  hurt others in the process, to obtain the attention and reputation they desire. Unless they do everything they can to use truthful, accurate information and deal fairly with others based on who they really are not who they pretend to be, rectifying any perceptions that are falsehoods, they are failing and badly.

Being good, or moral – doing the right thing – isn’t necessarily going to get you what you want or make you happy all the time.    Plus it’s hard predominantly because doing the right thing doesn’t just mean not doing the wrong thing.  It means taking definitive action to prevent yourself and others when appropriate from acting in a manner that is wrong.   

At times that may mean we don’t get what we want or are unhappy.  

When others are treating us badly for doing the right thing, we realize that the reality is that this idea we have that doing the right thing always results in positive outcomes is a bunch of bunk.  It sucks to be abused for taking the high ground.  Those rewards we all seek – most often it’s not the virtuous they go to but those who seemingly have no conscience.  Sometimes the life of being the good guy is miserable and incomprehensible.

I suppose it all boils down to one thing – who do you want to be?  Are you willing to become one of the immoral beings walking this earth illogicality your calling card, the prospect of hurting others to get what you want easily justified?  Or will you refuse to give in to your baser nature refusing to sink down to the level which may seem at times to be where everyone around you is hanging out? 

Who among us has the strength to become and remain this morally grounded person?  The truth will out.  

Anyone Can Teach If We Are Willing To Learn

Never Lose Hope

Today I was contacted by a former student, one who’d undoubtedly taught me more than I’d taught him.  He’d also caused me to think about normality differently from even the multifaceted way in which I’d previously viewed it.  His name was Rip, short for Euripides, he had once explained to me, as his mother was into Greek Tragedy.

 

Rip was extremely bright though this description doesn’t do him justice.  There are many bright individuals walking the earth who use their knowledge only to gain admiration. Rip simply loved learning new things and discussing them with others.  Unfortunately, there were few he could find who would engage with him.  He had what would probably be labeled as Asperger’s Syndrome.

As the weeks passed we began to discuss all types of subjects and their implications.  I was fascinated by his reflections on the wide variety of topics he’d read about, all by choice.  I also came to be amazed by the seemingly limitlessness of his interests, and his ability to apply them to his life.

 

One day, after a lecture about social development Rip approached me looking out of sorts.  His shifted from one foot to another, remaining silent, a sure sign something was bothering him.  Then suddenly without uttering a word he began to walk off.  I sensed there was something he needed to say but that he feared the possibility of rejection.  Though desperately wanting to ask, I knew pushing him would result in a melt down and forced myself to let him go, despite the knots forming in my stomach.  I left in the opposite direction, feeling inept as my feet dragged me away.

Then, from behind, I heard Rip call me.  I turned towards him, noticing a pained look on his face.  He held my eyes silently for a beat then asked, “Why do I feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole?”

I struggled to come up with an answer that would speak to what I knew he was asking.  Before I could manage this, he asked an even more difficult question.

  

“What do I do?  I don’t want to be round.” 

Undoubtedly unprofessional, though I admit I wasn’t feeling particularly professional at the time, angry that he’d been made to feel this way, I responded from sheer emotion. 

“I think you should be the person you want to be, whether it’s square, triangular or hexagonal for that matter,” I replied.  “Whatever shape you choose to assume, I know it will be real, filled with meaning and possess the very potential of the Universe itself.” 

I think I shocked him and know I shocked myself with my rather unusual and forcefully uttered reply.  A moment passed.  Then another.

And then a smile slowly lit his face.  Without another word he walked toward the door at the other end of the hall leaving me standing stone still contemplating the lesson he’d taught me that day.  When able to move, I turned toward the door opposite where Rip had exited.  As I walked, having lost the drag but gained a slight bounce, I felt a smile grace my face which tumbled into laughter.  For once I couldn’t have cared less about the odd looks I received.

We Are All Divinely Mad

This is the beginning of a blog where meaning matters, thoughts, feelings and actions count, and the world of psychology will, at times, be turned on its head.  A variety of topics will be considered including reflections on the field of psychology, personal journeys and struggles that readers might find familiar, relationships and general reflections on the state of the world and those within it.   Yet the ideas and subjects presented here will all fall within a single unifying theme:  Human Nature.  For what is psychology if not an attempt at finding a way to discover and explain the underlying human facets that make all experiences possible?